Fear Of Failure Making Me Freeze Up
I’ve had a ton of business failures. They don’t bother me.
But sometimes, the fear of failure is so intense that I FREEZE (as in fight, flight or freeze); my whole body tightens up so much I can barely breathe, my mind becomes unable to focus and my energy is all over the place.
Most of March has seen me freezing, over and over again.
It peaked a couple of days ago when I once again froze with an intense fear of failure. This time though, I got to the core of it in a way I haven’t been able to before.
At the core, I was terrified of failing because it would mean I was not who I thought I was.
The stakes I had around succeeding were all about wanting to be a specific person, or maybe needing to be a specific person. As in, a different person from the one I actually am.
Interesting, isn’t it?
Because what was really going on was I believed I had to choose between being me and being successful.
That I had to choose between abandoning myself and being successful.
Which of course is utter bullshit.
And yet I believed it with all my might, because somewhere, sometime, someone(s) had programmed into my consciousness that I do not have what it takes to create a super successful business.
So if I wanted a super successful business, I’d have to abandon myself and become someone else.
I can either be me or I can be successful.
YEAH NO!
My desire for epic business success has been at war with this core belief and as I kept moving powerfully toward epic success by choosing big goals, the tension between those two opposing forces eventually became so strong, it exploded!
And in the explosion the core shadow was exposed. Which is beyond wonderful because only by exposing it to the light can it be dealt with.
In short order, I had created a rock solid STANDARD for myself:
“I will never ever abandon myself again, for anything or anyone, no matter the cost, no matter that I might never make a single penny ever again.”
Once that unbreakable standard was laid down, I added the next standards:
“And because I will never ever abandon myself, that means I’ll never ever give any of my power away ever again, including my power to succeed beyond my wildest dreams and including the power to make money, because the minute I give even the tiniest bit of my power away, I’ve abandoned myself.”
And THAT is not on the table anymore!!!!
